Love by addition not subtraction
Welcome to the marriage vault. This is where two hearts can be secured in the love of God. If you find your relationship has been robbed by separating forces, you can have it restored by God's binding love (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).
Have you ever tried to make a meal from scratch? Do you consider yourself a "by the book person," or do you consider yourself a "let it fly" type of person? When it comes to being creative in the kitchen, who is the Michelin star in your home?
It's been said when you cook with love, it makes the food taste so much better. Researchers have found scientific proof that food prepared with love really does taste better. A scientific analysis revealed that positive emotions around food preparation correlated with enhanced handling gave sweetness to taste. But negative emotions towards preparation gave a sourness to the pilot.
What does all that mean? Well, cooking for your spouse with a "pinch of love" can make a world of difference at the dinner table. Have you ever fed your dog (if you own one) or cat by filling their bowl and just throwing it at them with negative words like "Here’s your food!"
I've actually seen some dogs choke from food thrown at them in a disgusting manner. So, when you’re slaving over a hot stove all day, you hope there's some appreciation thanks coming your way.
What's your recipe for keeping the right spices in your relationship? Whatever your Ingredients are, they should add to the love you have for one another. People who have been married for decades, always seem to have the answer for longevity in their marriage.
Typically, it involves adding on to what already is working. They usually cover each other with strengths over each other’s weaknesses. It's called addition without subtraction. Many newlyweds come into the marriage seeking to take away from what may need additional supporting.
When you're preparing a special meal for your spouse, you gather all the ingredients needed to make your meal the "ooh la-la" of the evening. You may even add "a pinch of this or a pinch of that" to enhance the flavor and aroma.
This sacrifice in the kitchen is done in love and given to your better half. So, how does your relationship grow and continue to be blessed beyond measure? By never taking away from the love of your life.
You've heard women who have been mistreated badly in their marital relationships use the phrase "he broke my heart, or he broke our trust." When a spouse puts his or her own needs and desires ahead of what's best for you, they are subtracting from the relationship.
God never wanted his covenant with Israel to be broken. God had a special relationship with Israel. He wanted to bring them into a living, up close, personal relationship. In (Deuteronomy 4:2) the Israelites are given a warning: "Do not add to what I command you and do not subtract from it but keep the commands of the Lord your God that I give you."
In the New Testament, holiness is connected to marriage covenants. God wants husbands and wives to build on their love for each other. (Ephesians 5: 25-28). Marriage, for Paul, was a holy union, a living symbol, a precious relationship needing tender, self-sacrificing care.
Jesus spoke about salt and what happens when it loses its flavor. When it gets wet and then dries, nothing is left but a tasteless residue. (Luke 14:34,35). Many marriages lose that flavor when one spouse subtracts from the emotional stability each one needs.
If you both choose to add to your love for each other, you can love without limits. There will never be a ceiling of adding to your care for each other. Some couples might say, "We've been married 60 years, we don't need to add anything else to our relationship."
My rebuttal would be, the heart is a unending reservoir of sacrificial love. Why do you suppose couples have anniversaries year after year? It is to appreciate and convey words of love to your mate. You can always add to your relationship until God separates you so he can continue that eternal love he gives to you in heaven. Remember my friends, real love begets love.
When you take something away from someone you erode what was established at the alter when you gave those important vows. It’s like rust eating away at metal. How many times do you hear men and women say "I fell out of love with them." It didn't happen overnight, it eroded over a period of time. Negative thinking tends to beget more negative thinking.
🗣📢 Last words: When you begin to see your spouse as a person beloved of God, a valuable person for whom Jesus died for, you will begin to develop a positive attitude that adds to the relationship. Have you ever noticed God is not like us when it comes to giving?
God is never stingy with what is his. He’s constantly opening up heaven and pouring out his blessings upon us. It’s a never-ending outpouring of himself (Joel 2:28,29; Luke 6:38). Paul emphasized this same outpouring of love that husbands should have towards their wives as Christ loves his church (Ephesians 5:25-29).
Remember, love edifies. Love builds up. Love seeks to do what is best for the other person. Couples should make it a
priority to add and build on their bonding love for each other. It's like each of you are these amazing puzzles that keeps needing new pieces to complete. Real love causes you to solve every obstacle. Sometimes they're frustrating. But you keep working at it till all the pieces fit.
💍Reminder for your marriage vault:
Remember to prepare a round table discussion room in your home. This is a place where you both can bring your one heart into the room and invite Jesus into it. Also keep two Bibles, note paper, and pen or pencil. Keep the room in soft lit lighting and always begin every conversation you have with prayer.
When you’re not in the room, always keep it locked if possible. Keep children out unless the Lord wants them in the discussion. Always remember to show kindness and respect to each other. Remember, both your hearts, are located in the same place.
Worship Center Ministry
Pastor Todd Boxley
*Please note: There will be new messages posted on a monthly basis. You can still check out previous messages when new ones are posted. God bless your marriage.
Husbands Love Your Wives..... Ephesians 5:25